they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
