Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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