k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
