I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
