This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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