the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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