4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
