So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize