I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Your cock deserves a montage
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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