It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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