i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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