I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
