Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
