Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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