thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
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yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
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I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
FUCK WHALES
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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