i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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