Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
