yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Gay?
German.
Pity.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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