I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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