apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
