I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
