yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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