p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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