Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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