Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
