Pants 0. Shit 1.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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