It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we're making bets on your personal life
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
