Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
