for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
