She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
