I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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