Did you just see the Batmobile???
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
my liver is dry heaving
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
