some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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