we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
