I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize