I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
