isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
