his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize