he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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