She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
