I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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