i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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