never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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