So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Sext me about skeletons
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
