I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Randomize
