i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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