The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
