dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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