he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
