i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
