Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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