The maid of honor just puked.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
