It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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