On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
