so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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