Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
