i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
