We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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