And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
