When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
