Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
