is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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