i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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