One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
