Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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