I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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