My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You don't make any sense
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