Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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