i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
