They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize