So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
