I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
