he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We need to rekindle our bromance
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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