Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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