White coat. Heels.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
