honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
