he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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